Introducing the New Me for the 1st Time (Part 1 of 2)

Hmmmm...How do I begin to explain what I'm daily learning myself? I think I have it! On February 19,2011 I found myself in Greensboro, Nc (love it there) for a retreat called "Encounter". I went not knowing what to expect but yet in expectation for something. I knew that people had said it would change my life but I'm thinking, "I've preached and prayed for people practically my entire life at this point, "what could possibly take place that already hasn't"? Well, to my surprise I was in need of major deliverance and freedom in Christ. I've spent my entire life believing that I was free because of the countless times that God has used me to speak life and freedom into others. However, I couldn't have been more wrong. From the moment I walked in the room that the Encounter Sessions were held, I knew life would never be the same. In the meantime I had only been back in the US for two months after spending two amazing years in St.Croix (Virgin Islands) serving as a Youth Pastor. I had become impatient and began "searching" for ministry opportunities to serve as a Pastor anywhere that wanted me. I even put in my resume for occupations that I knew were clearly not "HIS WILL". So, here I am sitting in a room in North Carolina having a feeling that I can't quite describe, but I knew it was God. It was HIM! and He was speaking to me loud and clear. During my time at Encounter two ministers spoke into my life and over my life. There were two very specific things that they seen in me right away , "FEAR and False Sense of Humility". The first one I didn't understand at all. However, the second was heart breaking for me.

You see, I preached my first sermon at 8 years old at Petra International Ministries (Bishop Donald Clay) and from that day forward every aspect of my life had been "branded" by CHRIST. You can only imagine the looks and comments that I've received my entire life (first as a child preacher and as a female preacher at that). People didn't always understand, however they were drawn not to me but to the God they seen in me. I've been made aware of that throughout my life. People have wanted to marry me, not really because they were in love with "me" but because there were in love with the God they seen in me. So as a result of knowing that literally I am nothing without God, I've spent my life not wanting people to think that "I" thought high of myself. So shock came, when God brought it to me through this minister in a different way. God began to say to me, "My daughter, trying not draw attention to yourself does not make you humble, it makes you bound to the opinions of people". I was blown away by this and had never looked at it that way. But of course, God was right..I was not being humble, I was allowing myself to be bound, worrying about what people would think if I actually stood up during a time when ministers were being acknowledged. WOW! It's amazing how off I was in thinking that I was on. It wasn't so much that I had lived in pride but that I had lived in a misunderstanding/misconception of what "humility" actually looks like.

So, having given that background, that's where I had been mentally during ENCOUNTER. That same night 2.19.11 GOD freed me TOTALLY from a spirit of lust, specifically masturbation. Yep, I've been sharing this testimony of my "purity" "virginity" but yet GOD was like, "Are you really pure"? Is it based on what you have not done with a man or based on your thoughts and your inwards desires. You see ANY and ALL sexual encounters outside of "marriage" defiles the body..PERIOD! ANY sexual gratification outside of marriage is a SIN. ENCOUNTER opened my eyes to see so much, but GOD opened my eyes to see even more. God told me how the seed of lust entered my heart (it was birthed when I seen an encounter as a child, continued when old  magazines were found in the attic and basement, and as I got older continued by watching sexually explicit movies and things that gratified the flesh such as LIFE TIME movie network...) and kept growing, leading to masturbation. I knew that I would never go "all the way" not being married but limits were certainly crossed. However, GOD took the desire away and actually started the process 4 years ago when I STOPPED watching tv and going to the movie theaters. But the ROOT of the issue was pulled out on February 19, 2011. The thing that I want to tell you about lust, is that it doesn't just come in, some how  the door was opened in your life by something you seen, conversation you've entertained (these will get you in trouble),and even music. For me it was the encounter that I had seen around the age of 5-6.However, after allowing God to pull out every root at ENCOUNTER nothing in my life has looked the same. My perception and view on everything was drastically changed. Thank you JESUS for making all things NEW!

For me, ENCOUNTER did not only change my life completely but it FREED me from EVERY WEIGHT...I cannot tell you how FREE, I am. It's AMAZING, like some days I wake up and it's even overwhelming. There is nothing like FREEDOM in Christ! WHOA! Its Awesome!!

BUT! the work did not stop at Encounter. I gave God fear but didn't really know how to identify with it in my life. SO, once Encounter was over...I was still in NC. I was at "my house" (RISA) praying and asking God to reveal to me what kind of Fear was in my life. He said, "Miracle you do have fear, that's why you have over 50 resumes out. After all that I've done for you, you still don't believe that I am going to do what I said. I sent you to an island that you didn't even know existed and you still don't trust me. I never told you to "apply" for any of these positions. Don't you know that I am God, and that I can place your name on the heart of people and create positions for you..." He then said, You will not "apply" for another position for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE...I was like, "GOD are you sure, really..?." He said, "I am GOD". So that day I gave God my FUTURE to God, as if it didn't already belong to him...SUBMISSION and OBEDIENCE in KEY!!!

2 days LATER I received an email saying......"    (GO TO PART 2)....!!!!! (You wanna see what happens next)...You will be blown away.....