Introducing the New Me for the 1st Time (Part 1 of 2)

Hmmmm...How do I begin to explain what I'm daily learning myself? I think I have it! On February 19,2011 I found myself in Greensboro, Nc (love it there) for a retreat called "Encounter". I went not knowing what to expect but yet in expectation for something. I knew that people had said it would change my life but I'm thinking, "I've preached and prayed for people practically my entire life at this point, "what could possibly take place that already hasn't"? Well, to my surprise I was in need of major deliverance and freedom in Christ. I've spent my entire life believing that I was free because of the countless times that God has used me to speak life and freedom into others. However, I couldn't have been more wrong. From the moment I walked in the room that the Encounter Sessions were held, I knew life would never be the same. In the meantime I had only been back in the US for two months after spending two amazing years in St.Croix (Virgin Islands) serving as a Youth Pastor. I had become impatient and began "searching" for ministry opportunities to serve as a Pastor anywhere that wanted me. I even put in my resume for occupations that I knew were clearly not "HIS WILL". So, here I am sitting in a room in North Carolina having a feeling that I can't quite describe, but I knew it was God. It was HIM! and He was speaking to me loud and clear. During my time at Encounter two ministers spoke into my life and over my life. There were two very specific things that they seen in me right away , "FEAR and False Sense of Humility". The first one I didn't understand at all. However, the second was heart breaking for me.

You see, I preached my first sermon at 8 years old at Petra International Ministries (Bishop Donald Clay) and from that day forward every aspect of my life had been "branded" by CHRIST. You can only imagine the looks and comments that I've received my entire life (first as a child preacher and as a female preacher at that). People didn't always understand, however they were drawn not to me but to the God they seen in me. I've been made aware of that throughout my life. People have wanted to marry me, not really because they were in love with "me" but because there were in love with the God they seen in me. So as a result of knowing that literally I am nothing without God, I've spent my life not wanting people to think that "I" thought high of myself. So shock came, when God brought it to me through this minister in a different way. God began to say to me, "My daughter, trying not draw attention to yourself does not make you humble, it makes you bound to the opinions of people". I was blown away by this and had never looked at it that way. But of course, God was right..I was not being humble, I was allowing myself to be bound, worrying about what people would think if I actually stood up during a time when ministers were being acknowledged. WOW! It's amazing how off I was in thinking that I was on. It wasn't so much that I had lived in pride but that I had lived in a misunderstanding/misconception of what "humility" actually looks like.

So, having given that background, that's where I had been mentally during ENCOUNTER. That same night 2.19.11 GOD freed me TOTALLY from a spirit of lust, specifically masturbation. Yep, I've been sharing this testimony of my "purity" "virginity" but yet GOD was like, "Are you really pure"? Is it based on what you have not done with a man or based on your thoughts and your inwards desires. You see ANY and ALL sexual encounters outside of "marriage" defiles the body..PERIOD! ANY sexual gratification outside of marriage is a SIN. ENCOUNTER opened my eyes to see so much, but GOD opened my eyes to see even more. God told me how the seed of lust entered my heart (it was birthed when I seen an encounter as a child, continued when old  magazines were found in the attic and basement, and as I got older continued by watching sexually explicit movies and things that gratified the flesh such as LIFE TIME movie network...) and kept growing, leading to masturbation. I knew that I would never go "all the way" not being married but limits were certainly crossed. However, GOD took the desire away and actually started the process 4 years ago when I STOPPED watching tv and going to the movie theaters. But the ROOT of the issue was pulled out on February 19, 2011. The thing that I want to tell you about lust, is that it doesn't just come in, some how  the door was opened in your life by something you seen, conversation you've entertained (these will get you in trouble),and even music. For me it was the encounter that I had seen around the age of 5-6.However, after allowing God to pull out every root at ENCOUNTER nothing in my life has looked the same. My perception and view on everything was drastically changed. Thank you JESUS for making all things NEW!

For me, ENCOUNTER did not only change my life completely but it FREED me from EVERY WEIGHT...I cannot tell you how FREE, I am. It's AMAZING, like some days I wake up and it's even overwhelming. There is nothing like FREEDOM in Christ! WHOA! Its Awesome!!

BUT! the work did not stop at Encounter. I gave God fear but didn't really know how to identify with it in my life. SO, once Encounter was over...I was still in NC. I was at "my house" (RISA) praying and asking God to reveal to me what kind of Fear was in my life. He said, "Miracle you do have fear, that's why you have over 50 resumes out. After all that I've done for you, you still don't believe that I am going to do what I said. I sent you to an island that you didn't even know existed and you still don't trust me. I never told you to "apply" for any of these positions. Don't you know that I am God, and that I can place your name on the heart of people and create positions for you..." He then said, You will not "apply" for another position for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE...I was like, "GOD are you sure, really..?." He said, "I am GOD". So that day I gave God my FUTURE to God, as if it didn't already belong to him...SUBMISSION and OBEDIENCE in KEY!!!

2 days LATER I received an email saying......"    (GO TO PART 2)....!!!!! (You wanna see what happens next)...You will be blown away.....

Introducing the New me for the 1st Time...(Part 2 of 2)

2 days LATER I received an email saying......" (actual portion of the email)
 "As we have prayed for you it has been made clear to us that there is a special grace upon you, and that has been confirmed in some very interesting ways." This email not only blew me away but God was also letting me know that once again, He is indeed directing every aspect of my life. I should give you all a little "special" surprise and tell you how the Lord opened the door for this email. What you are about to read is the very email sent by a man whom I've never personally met. I've had only one phone conversation with him concerning a ministry opportunity in the Seattle area. His name is Laurey Berteig. This is the email that changed everything Feb 2011.

"... I have included my brother in this email He is the pastor of a church in Canada and is looking for an associate to work with young adults, youth etc. I would love for the both of you to connect. I am uncertain if you have found another position yet, but I don't believe our paths have crossed by accident.

Can I tell you, that this email changed everything!!! Little did I know that not only was God showing me that His word was true concerning placing me on the hearts of others but also that if I would just be willing to give everything to Him, He would indeed take care of me. This is the email that lead to what was previously stated. The Lord was not only working out every aspect of my life but He was opening the doors saying, "Just walk right in". Can I stop right here for a moment and tell you that when you trust God and fully submit to Him, you are saying yes not only to His will but to HIS WAY.

After a few weeks of emails, a skype interview was set up for the ministry in British Columbia (Canada). The anticipation was high and I could barely sleep the night before in excitement for what would take place. The skype interview was amazing, the Lord had given one of the leaders a prophetic word that blew me away. It was clear that God's hand-print was over this entire encounter. The night of the interview I received an email of invitation to come to Prince George, British Columbia...(This is a portion of the email:
Dear Miracle," It was so delightful to speak with you today. We feel that the next step in the process would be to invite you up for a time of ministry, and a chance to get to know each other better.....")

I was blown away...Here I was again, saying to God, "Lord, you are amazing". A few weeks later I flew to Canada for the first time. In the beginning of the process I thought I would be near New York, having never been to Canada I had no clue of its size. Well, to my surprise I would be flying to a Province in Canada  (British Columbia) that is located between Alaska and the State of Washington. I found myself sitting in the Vancouver airport with feelings of uncertainty. As I looked around, I seen no one that looked like "Me". People were speaking all sorts of languages and there I was wondering, "Oh Lawd! Where am I?"... I actually called my grandma asking for prayer, her immediate response was "Miracle. whats wrong!!!? Are you okay? Why are you nervous?...My response was "Grandma, I am not nervous. I just feel a little out of place"...Little did I know that this would be the Lord's purpose...You see I learned just like the Gospel Recording artist James Ziegler states "My comfort level is not His priority, but that he can receive the glory from me". I soon understood upon my arrival in March of 2011 that God was "shifting"  my comfort level, everything that I thought I knew about ministry and preaching. During the week that I spent in Prince George, BC I seen one person of color. However, I noticed the first day that no one looked at me strange or even took a second glance. Soon the LORD would reveal to me that its not about me, but about Him. I ministered 5 times while I was there but the Sunday Morning was loud and clear that God was getting ready to blow both myself and the people of Prince George away. The power of God filled the conservative Christian Missionary Alliance Church with a fire that would not be put away. I went from looking around seeing only "1" other person of color to understanding that God is the "God of the entire WORLD". HE is not exclusively the God of the US, black church, or Pentecostal church. He is GOD OF THE WORLD and every KNEE AND EVERY TONGUE will proclaim that HE IS GOD.  I watched the Lord transform the atmosphere and the people right before my eyes..I watched the Lord change me in an atmosphere that I had never been in, my entire life. This was only a sign of what was to come. That day the altar was surrounded by people who were desperate for God....And the Power of God changed and freed many, that very day.

That same morning the church was invited to a house gathering later in the week to get to know me. I couldn't believe the amount of people that came. Truly, it was humbling that all these people would come just to get to know me..."I was in shock" I began to have conversations with people that night from all across the world: Africa, Australia, Amsterdam, etc...God was speaking to me, "Here is the world, the nations are here and so are you"....That night I woke grandma up around 2am eastern time and began to cry, telling her that I had never experienced such love and acceptance in my entire life. God had been saying for years that " I am" sending you to the nations...I didn't know how it would happen and each day God reveals to and reminds me, "THIS IS IT".

I flew back to my hometown Pittsburgh, PA and began to pray. The Lord confirmed that "I have opened the door, walk in it".So as of June 28, 2011, I began to serve as the Associate Pastor of Timbers Community Church in  Prince George, British Columbia which has become MY place of RESIDENCE. I have never experienced anything like this in my entire life. I have never met a Pastor like Pastor Paul Berteig. His compassion for people comes straight from God, it's amazing. Some people are kind and warm, while others love without restraints! I believe that God has blessed my Pastor to walk in it all. I have never experienced JOY like this in all of my life. The Lord not only prepared the way but he ordered my steps to follow HIS way.The day of arrival, I was welcomed at the airport by many people with so much love, hugs, and flowers..It was amazing. I stand in need for nothing. The Lord even blessed my with a FREE CAR. I am surrounded daily with people who are in love with God and who have accepted me as their family. God has even established family here to the point of them sharing the same last name as my family members, and recently someone with my last name as well. I am a living witness that when you live for God and seek His Kingdom first, HE WILL give you the desires of your heart. God has blessed me beyond belief. I wake up each day feeling like my life has been a movie, only it never ends. I know for sure that ENCOUNTER on 2.19.11 was the prerequisite for where I am today. God made it clear after arriving here, that I needed you to be totally free in me before I could use you any further, to FREE nations from bondage. WHOA!! What an honor....What a privilege..

Each an everyday I feel like God gives me an overdose of joy. God has given me JOY that just BURSTS from the time I wake to the time I sleep. I speak and walk in total confidence that I am exactly where God wants me to be and I am CONVINCED that everything in my life has been training ground and preparation for where I am today.

My view on ministry, people, church, God, life, and family has totally changed and each day I recognize less of who I am. The reason is because the more I become like Him (God), the less I look like me. You see I used to think that people "liked" me and thought that "I" was nice and then God tapped me on the shoulder and said "NO, they don't like "you", its me they see when they look at you...It's "ME" (GOD) that they are drawn to not you...Daily, I am honored to know that I am a mirror reflection of the Almighty God and that my life, ultimately points back to him. My daily prayer has been "LESS OF ME" and "MORE OF YOU"..NONE OF ME, ALL OF YOU....This is what God has been doing in me. A few weeks ago, I felt that God was asking me to lose myself, for me to let go of who I had become...He assured me that's exactly what He was saying, "Let go of you and GRAB hold of me". He began to say to me, since being here that it's not about the "preacher" you've been your whole life, its about the "REACHER" that I am calling you to be to Nations. The Lord specifically said to me, "I have not called you to be "PREACHER" but a "REACHER"...He said, "My daughter, a lot of people are preaching but they aren't reaching. I've called you REACH people and that means going where they are and getting them, that means submitting your will to my WAY..That means letting go of you and grabbing hold of me. These are the lessons that the LORD has been speaking to me, since my arrival here in Canada....

So, here I am looking less like the person you knew and more like the God you serve. My one desire in this whole world, for the REST OF MY LIFE, is that I would be in the WILL of GOD. I have an assurance that if today would be my last day, "I know that I have listened to God, followed HIS instructions, and lived an obedient life reflecting JESUS CHRIST, that you would not see me but that you would see HIM in me."......

This is me...This is who "I AM" becoming....It's not but who I am but who "HE IS" in  me....My life is an ongoing and everlasting devotion to God....I have NO CHOICE but to live what I speak....My obedience to God is not an option for me....THIS MY LIFE, THIS IS MY WORSHIP TO MY DADDY WHO IS THEE KING.!

I greatly appreciate the time that you have taken out to read my first blog. ..Feel free to share my blog with others. Weekly I will post new things that God is doing and revealing...

Thanks for reading.....

~You Can. You shall be. You will. YOU ARE~